A for Effort

I went into this low budget horror from director Sean Mcgarry expecting to disappointed, much like all the other recent low budget films I’ve seen. Somehow, this film managed to compile all the grit and charm, annoying characters and terrible acting of 80’s B movies with A for effort special ‘effects’ to create a hilariously fun ride.

Yes, this is the FIRST death.

Hallows’ Eve (2013) centers on a young girl named Eve. Eve stutters and is inexplicably the butt of a clan of local kids’ fiery rage. They chase her and chuck pumpkin goop at her, which leads to a confusing tractor accident, which somehow leads to some horrific facial scarring.

Cut to the future. Eve is still a weirdo. Her family runs some sort of haunted house/farm/corn maze ordeal and repeatedly invites the evil local kids who bullied Eve to participate in the festivities. Those annoying youngsters have all grown up to be thoroughly annoying teens. They wander about the farm aimlessly, getting high, making out and getting in fights. One boy has an extremely out of place hallucination about witches chanting something about innards and pigs flying. Eventually, this clan of kids begins to get picked off. This is where the fun begins.

In a rapidly escalating set of murders, we watch semi POV, as the hooded killer bashes heads, slashes throats and drills eyeballs. The effects are nearly laughable, but the amount of blood and attempted gore used comes off more as endearing than pathetic. The death scenes felt a little like a horror movie Tarantino would’ve created when he was 14. You just can’t help but shout along with the screechy score, What?! What is this now?? Are you kidding me??

The acting (‘led’ by actress Danielle Harris, who I know only from Zombie’s ‘recreation’ of Halloween), is sub par, but aside from the opening scene with young kids, isn’t distractingly bad. The fact that the characters are largely unnamed and unexplained and entirely moronic and annoying proves to be a bit off putting, but it does tend to make their deaths that much more embraceable. The story (what story?) makes no damn sense,and the scenes are primarily disjointed. The dialogue sounds like it was created by a roomful of  drunk monkeys and a set of malfunctioning typewriters. There are almost no redeemable qualities in this one.

Almost. Except that campy, over the top, nonsensical, clearly low budget gore. Those splatter moments carry a SleepAway Camp charm, a sense that someone had great intentions but couldn’t get the idea off the ground. You can’t help but laugh amiably as an eyeball spins on a blood soaked drill, or as some very questionable looking intestines come spluttering out of what seemed to be a small stab wound. Heads are chopped, pretty young things impaled, and what would a horror film be without a little chainsaw action?? This movie is a mess, but it’s a fun mess, as long as you don’t go in expecting polished, clean, or even lucid. Enjoy the corn syrup, kiddos!

 

 

Madness in Great Ones

After days of lame films, finally a horror to pack a punch. And a remake, no less! Maniac (2012) retells the 1980 film of the same title, a seemingly sleazy slasher flick that I’ve yet to watch, but based on trailers and photos, is likely to contain a high dose of nudity and corn syrup.

This current Maniac (from director Frank Khalfoun) is told from the killer’s point of view and shot primarily from his own eyeline. We only see his image in reflections or in flashbacks and visions, of sort. The maniac in question is played by usually clean cut and baby faced Elijah Wood, who, while he remains largely unseen, manages to convey a huge presence and a talent rarely applied to the genre. Frank (Wood) searches for women to live up to some unspoken expectation set by his whorish mother long ago in a bumpy childhood. We are privy to Frank’s stalking and scalping, and the after effects of his kills. Frank strikes up a living connection with a pretty young artist named Anna (Nora Arnezeder), and finds himself growing attached, though clearly walking unfamiliar ground.

Maniac is a film of quality acting, of the kind that so seldom graces horror, which is refreshing and sets this one as a cut above. The talent emanates not just from Wood, but from the entire cast . The cinematography strikes a balance between clever moodiness and 80’s cheesiness. The score of the film is strikingly effective and it evokes much of that same 80’s grit and kitsch. What sets this one apart is the way in which Frank is portrayed; we are led to sympathize with him. Though the audience isn’t likely to cheer him on as he peels back yet another pretty head to remove blood soaked hair, viewers will see a wounded and tortured soul, washing his hands until they bleed, falling victim to crippling panic attacks and being plagued by vivid and scarring flashbacks. To quote Hamlet, “Madness in great ones must not unwatched go.” (because what’s a horror review without a Shakespeare quote?)

Maniac, from the very start, will set your teeth on edge. From the sleazy night streets, to the heavy breathing of Frank, seemingly right in your own ear, to the addition of a nod to Silence of the Lambs in a scene we know is destined to end badly, Maniac is pure horror. It packs the emotional punch, messes with our minds, and shows us that there is nothing safe and certain about Frank, he is a shattered soul, and a terrifying one at that. Maniac does not lack gore, if you are even a bit squeamish, you’re likely to lose your appetite for popcorn after the first scalp and staple, as it were. Though the film’s effectiveness doesn’t rely on the splatter and spray, it does serve to amp up the horror.

This movie, though a remake itself, is likely to have a lasting impact on the genre. It’s one I expect to remember for some time to come.

 

 

Snap, Crackle, Splat

Today, I made rice krispies squares and watched Evil Dead (2013). This is what I do with my days off. I’m a different kind of housewife.

This is my second time around with this one. I saw it in the theater and cheerfully munched my popcorn while the rest of the audiences squirmed in their seats and covered their eyes, shamefully whimpering. I’m not going to write a review praising the reboot or picking apart the flaws in the plan. I’ve got nothing to add that hasn’t been said a million times already. I am not going to compare it to it’s mother, The Evil Dead (1981). I don’ even think they are comparable. Apples and oranges, people.

But I will say, if this one’s got anything going for it, it’s buckets and buckets of blood. Evil Dead is probably one of the goriest I’ve seen since Cannibal Holocaust. What a comparison, I know. When you can make The Shining’s elevators of blood seem tame, you have hit a new benchmark.

Does it get to be over the top? Yeah, in about half an hour, I got pretty desensitized to it, but I’ve gotta give kudos to the tactical effects. The blood and gore and dismemberments and what have you are done in a way that has a genuine effect. This doesn’t have that pathetic green-screeny over CGI’d sensation that so many have, it’s got a typhoons of fake blood and guts and prosthetics and all kinds of true horror gold. I have great respect for a serious effort with effects. I’ve gotta credit that to The Exorcist, too. I mean, filing in a freezing cold room to get the image of the actor’s breath in the frosty air? Dedication.

So, Evil Dead. You like a little splatter? Enjoy this baby.

And that thing with the X-acto and Mia’s tongue. Insert Sideshow-bob-esque shudder. That one got to me.

Guess I’ll go peel potatoes or bake a pie or something.