Let it Begin

Well, thus began the daunting task of writing horror reviews. I’ve watched many a scare flick in my day, and have become immersed in the technical geekery of the genre. Neither my husband nor most of my friends and family are willing to subject themselves to the white knuckling of theatre seats and the unavoidable heart palpitation that comes with a good horror film. So, here I am to spread the good word out to the internet.

I love horror films. Good ones, bad ones, inbetween ones, the cheesy big haired high waisted jeans ones and even the is-this-really-a-horror-movie-oh-my-shit-yes-it-is! ones. I don’t always watch the newest, the best and brightest. When I do, I can’t say I always appreciate the best and brightest, but I’ve got hope for the future.

So, I’ve gotta start somewhere. I’ll dust off a review from a Halloween marathon a few years back, one that I hadn’t heard much about, and still haven’t.

The Dead (2010)

Directed by brothers Howard and Jonathon Ford, The Dead is a zombie film that is set in an un-dead infested Africa. We follow an American military engineer whom, while trying to escape the ravaged (unnamed) country, finds himself the only survivor of a plane crash just off the coast. He struggles to shore and fights off the infected as they plod slowly towards him (at the rate of the original Night of The Living Dead zombies, very very slowly, so slowly that our lead character has time to pry open a wooden box that washes ashore to retrieve a gun and, later manages to find the time to calmly change his tire before the zombies can gain enough momentum to lethargically reach out and slap at him).

He meets up with an African soldier who is traveling across the country in search of his son, who he believes to have been taken to an army base.  The two team up and work together in their efforts to escape the relentless zombies. A unique take on the traditional zombie film in that it is set in the wild country of Africa; beautiful scenery and vibrant color abounds in The Dead. That being said, the plot of the film moves as slowly as its Zombies. I found myself getting bored and often distracted with very few legitimate scares. This does not mean a low key movie can’t be entertaining, but this one can hardly boast  much dialogue, nor political or social commentary. The motivations of our characters is a longing to return to family, but, hey, this is a horror movie, do I really want to have to pick out themes to justify it being a worthwhile watch? I can sit through a lot of cheesy splatter horrors, crazy films, oddball films, downright bad films, but this one was just a little too dull. Some decent acting from Prince David Oseia in the role of Daniel, but lead actor Rob Freeman reads his lines like he is asleep.

The Dead had good intentions, but falls flat. Not much of a scare, not much of a story and altogether not that much fun.